did you ever find your cell phone? and your dignity?
I play with my boobs when I'm bored. I playwith my nipples whe I'm drunk
theres bread in your mailbox im going to eat it
nevermind its newpaper
I just heard these 2 kids from flint and Detroit arguing over whose economy is worse... It's really sad what passes for competition in Michigan these days
It's an acquired taste. Like keystone. Or caviar.
I fell alseep but then some dude picked me up. Comforter and all stuck a blunt in my mouth and carried me back downstairs because "I wasn't done partying"
I would have to gauge my vagina to make it fit.
he tried breathing fire using moonshine and a roman candle. would not have believed it unless i actually witnessed it.
Get dressed, I have 50$ and you need a new beer pong table since we threw yours off the 8th floor last night.
I only put bad things in my body...jack, caffeine, chocolate, pills, and rich's cock. It's like being holistic but exactly opposite
They kept barging in on us saying random shit. At one point they came in yelling room service! and threw soda at us bruising my foot. Weirdest injury I have gotten during sex.
Quick question. How did my clothes end up in your room on your bed and I end up outside your room naked on your couch?
SO HELP ME GOD THERE IS A SPIDER IN THIS PIZZA. IT IS VERY SMALL IT IS INSIDE THE CRUST AND IT IS ALIVE. I'M SO HUNGRY DO I KEEP EATING
I'm shaking a cocktail while in bed. Is that bad?
Your Vodka Saturday privileges have been reduced to Beer until you go a full month without losing an article of clothing.
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