Now it won't go down.
You've got a gift.
so it turns out you can rearrange the letters in "scottsdale" to spell "milf city." who knew?
when I scratched it gently some sort of watery looking stuff came out...so then I just stopped thinknig about it.
In a few years, 50 babies 50 states. Like it?
I want to jerk off but my dog won't leave me alone. It's the most depressing cock block ever.
i never realize how drunk i am until i start using people as human stripper poles
We did it and he fell asleep and I was bored so I decided to go back to the party...is that bad?
I had to stop mid sex to take my turn on words with friends so he wouldn't get suspicious. Hookup of the night helped me. We won.
We're gonna have horrible, horrible babies.
Also, they sell weed-chocolate covered strawberries. For the romantic stoner.
That was one of the best texts I got today
Thank you for caring about my cervix.
It probably would have happened but I just can't picture myself losing my virginity while laying on top of his Quiksilver duvet set.
Idk what the interview would be like but I imagine you in a suit and tie surveying a nervous freshman and eventually leading him into a labyrinth of debauchery and clapping him on the back, saying "welcome to the fraternity, son"
I've done dumber things than this for flimsier reasons. Come with. If I pull it off I need a witness, and if I fail I need an escape plan.
Long fucking story. But hey I got an orgasm and breakfast so I'm winning.
Randomize
