Oh KT! There was no tea in those Long Islands...
On my way home i need to take a massive dump and couldn't wait.
can you explain to me why you commented on every one of my profile pics with "tits and beer ftw" please and thank you.
I just had a girl text me from knoxville "come see me. we'll go for drinks and I can make you breakfast"
how do you like your eggs?
over tits
I want to dip my vagina in sugar. Not only will it be sweet, but it will have a nice sparkle.
i threw up on the blunt... he was pissed.
Hahaha I asked him about her bjs and he said "I would not wish that on anyone"
Just found out he cheated on me last night. But its Shark Week so I will deal with it next week.
He had "Bad Bitches Only" tattooed above his dick. I don't know his name but I hope I find him again. I also don't feel that I lived up to the challenge.
When nipples stop being hilarious I'll stop getting them out in public.
I smell like hot dogs and captain morgan it's 11:20 am what is my life
He ripped down his Kate Upton poster while we were having sex last night. Im gonna take that as a good sign.
It's scary that my vibrator is a dangerous weapon. I want a new one.
Is it weird that I have your number saved in my phone as baby Jesus?
Like my mom really needs to know just how non existent my sex life is
Randomize
