i hope the fucking fire crotch burns his mouth
I have to start avoiding pregnant women. This is getting out of hand.
I just told her she was a heartbeat above a blowup doll.
so she called me drunk and made me stay on the phone with her while she puked.
My dinner last night was 3000 calories of beer. Slept kneeling on the floor w/ my head on a couch
I thought I walked in on an orgy of smurfs. Man I love shrooms
What sexual position says im sorry for your loss?
No, I googled it. Apparently, male thongs are the next snuggy and a lot of guys love wearing them for the support.
The face that yo gabba gabba comes up when I'm stoned and searching for yoga workouts is scary or dangerous
He asked if he could pull one of my teeth "to remember me by"
That man deserves a slow clap... He defied the power of the vagina
My ex's new girlfriends ex boyfriend is getting me my nipples pierced for Valentine's Day so who's the real winner here
I'm sorry I tried to stab you. I just really wanted those mozerella sticks.
I didn't even know his name until he texted me the next day and told me I should take a plan B pill. Thanks Danny.
We just started our own DARE program: Drugs are really enjoyable.
Randomize
