That bitch is like a bad destiny's child song.
WHY DIDN'T ANYON E TELL ME SHE WAS SIXTEEN
I swear I only do things like fuck 19 yr olds just to hear how you laugh when I tell you.
On that note if you see a hobo smiling with a pack of cigarettes and an AMP energy drink, that was my good deed for the day
Scary. I thought trees were a lie and that someone ha permanently stenciled them into my life. No joke.
Trevor is horny so he just called me to tell me all the things that he would like to do with his future wife. That's a new one.
He told me he deactivated his facebook because his girlfriend caught him wackin it to my profile picture.
10 points to you
I put tequila in my salad dressing yesterday. Step the fuck up.
Looking through last night's sexting, realized one is a haiku..
I respect your roll as DD and there're am required to respect your vehicle
Would it be rude to use my vibrator? like he forfeited his right to be mad when he left me orgasmless...right?
He doesn't have an existential crisis after we have really violent sex now which is nice
Just a reminder- you dropped broccoli in my car and then felt bad for it and named him Henry
I know. I miss henry.
I'm so sorry for trying to eat your puzzle last night...
I woke up handcuffed to a bed wearing nothing but an army belt. Does this count as thanking our country?
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