Watching a deaf couple have an argument in the mall. Can't bring myself to look away.
I've had enough of this chick, she wanted to cuddle after giving me a handjob. I feel like I'm in junior high
I just googled if crying burns calories
some gay kid said he wanted to blow him because "his eyebrows told a story"
You guys better make it up to the cabin in time for mud wrestling on Saturday. I'm not kidding. You know when I joke, and now is not one of those times.
I think I'm coming down now. I almost started crying because I lost a piece of paper.
I was just handed jelly beans by a guy in a penguin costume. Standby for confirmation on if they are actually drugs.
Well... When your girlfriend fucks your sister, the 2 week courtesy window goes out the door.
If I could drive and get you Starbucks I would... But that's probably not a good idea. On account of the drugs.
If a cougar buys you pizza and wants to show you her newly-won house, you have sex with her. It's the law. Just being all the man I can be dude
Apparently I taped knives to my hands and made everyone call me wolverine
well, mom whipped her new boobs out at the dining room table. So yeah you could say we had a pretty casual thanksgiving
This is not the first time I've recognized my body is subconsciously trying to make pizza.
He sent me a snap with the dog tongue filter. I might have to bench him.
On a scale from 1 to 10 how gross is it to get a chili dog from a vending machine?
Randomize
