My landlord doesn't knock anymore when he shows the apt... So i just had sex in front of a family.
didn't stop?
naw, they were rude, not me.
can someone explain to me why i woke up under a twister sheet
They were so loud I wrote them a sex critique and taped it to his door.
drunken yoga. on the beach. senior week. you have been chosen <3
I just want him to slap me with his dick and call it love
Just blew a perc off the traytable on my flight, spring break has begun!!
I accidentally peed all over the couch. It's safe to say I'm not welcome at that house anymore
I usually don't buy birthday presents for my booty calls
But you'll make an exception
probably not
I am too drunk to be out in this weather around all these animals.
Everything was cool until I tried to photo bomb those Hells Angels, then it's all a blank
Let us bow our heads and pray that I don't throw up in the tub
Currently watching Zombie Sharks while high. This is why I love Shark Week.
I don't need romance, I need cheese sticks
also, I think I lit my hair on fire when I got home..
His idea of hot sex is sticking his finger in my dark star while doing me Missionary style. You can tell he's from the Bible Belt.
Does he smell like BBQ?
Inside and out.
Randomize
