Is it just me, or does Colt McCoy look like Herbie the Dentist from "Rudolph the Red-nosed Reindeer"?
He told me he wouldn't do any drunk sluts but me. I guess that's sort of a compliment...?
you told grandpa to call you daddy
The guy in 209 is masturbating with the door cracked again
I wish I could attach your penis to someone I like more than you.
how are things with the new girl?
good, we have nothing in common but she likes being choked
There has to be a way to make college graduation in Las Vegas different than any other Tuesday in Las Vegas. Strippers? Been there. Getting arrested for public indecency on the strip? Done that.
well hes been the bathroom for like 15 mins so he either feels comfortable enough to puke/ shit in my apartment or he escaped out the window
You BETTER NOT STEAL MY MOTHERFUCKING SQUIRREL
How do i politely tell him his dick looks like it went thru a meat grinder?
I was woken up in my old house by the new residents ... I don't even have a Key anymore
Yeah. I don't know. I'm just gonna show up at her place on valentines day with a jock strap, box of chocolates, and rose clenched between my ass cheeks with "be mine" written across my glorious man titties.
We were covered in sweat and glitter, making out onstage, in front of everyone. I think it was a good night.
Best and worst whiskey dick ever. I am hungover and can't move from the hours of sex, he on the other hand has a raw bruised dick. I win.
College is really paying off. I am gonna be a great teacher. I just made a grading sheet for weed. This shit got an A.
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