is there a reason why there is cup of piss in the fridge?
no
Two words Indian burn...
What did she think it was, a shake weight?
the ball fondling will be left out of the trip recanting
Desperately trying not to throw up over the side of the ferry back to CT. Can't be the first one of the season.
I broke my arm trying to do a hand stand in my shower to wash the hate out of my asshole.
Found a popcorn kernel in my pubes... Time fir a Brazilian
I just don't fit in here. The other wives are ten years older and have kids!
Well, you chose trophy wife of a 35 year old over college. Sit in your suburban soup and stew.
There is a chick at the bar in a bumble bee onesie, complete with wings. Yeah, I must be back in Seattle.
"YOU ALWAYS BEEN A HOE YOU ALWAYS GONE BE A HOE. THAT'S JUST THE WAY IT'S GONE BE." overheard at temple
Did you feel uncomfortable?
For a little while. Then I got really high and ate a bunch of animal crackers out of some dudes pocket while we chilled on their super comfortable couch.
I think I need to see a chiropractor after giving that blow job
We found you in the bathroom at 1AM throwing money into the toilet making wishes. That drunk.
.... Seriously?
I just hooked up with the German exchange student who doesn't speak English. And you said I have no talent.
i just remember singing the theme song from 2 and 1/2 men to my hair
Idk but when you think about it the last time I did bottomless mimosas I ended up getting my nipples pierced so it might be fair
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