I'm going to rape someone's good day.
I dunno... she just cried a lot and I kept sighing.
So, just so you know... Your vasectomy worked.
bonus
This went bad. Everyone is crying, i dont know why and I am really uncomfortable.
She just left after she spent the past 2.5 hours fuckin the shit out of me. I'll put that in the logbook as a cross country
it was either a really good one night stand or a really really good first date. thank you online dating
No way. Every time you have sex with him you'll end up staring into those eagle eyes and stop mid-orgasm.
Its not like i paid for sex. She was stuck there, we simply exchanged rides.
I was 100% done.. I used my vibrator while eating cold pizza. Shit was magical.
Wait..I'm drunk and butt naked making a pizza. Happy Wednesday.
I just masturbated to the thought of him straight up talking to me. to us having a conversation. What the hell.
Don't be alarmed when we finally get naked and I let out a WOOHOO!!!
My mom just busted me rolling a blunt on her bathroom counter. ...all she said was fuck it it's Christmas
I have alotted at least an hour for ugly crying.
Last night I tried to apply for a job at ihop. That drunk.
Randomize
