why didn't you poke me back
I need to take "lollipop" off of every single one of my playlists cause it makes me wanna suck dick.
I'm drinking away my Christmas cash. People are going to get bar receipts as presents.
When she can manipulate the direction of her leg hair, you know its time to leave
It was mandatory to shotgun a beer before we were allowed to eat dinner
i secretly love the power trip of being their RA & busting these idiots for everything i did as a freshman
you know, even black out drunk I can always remember the exact point where I should have stopped drinking.
You left your underwear on the fireplace
I was so intoxicated last night I was giving out my real name and number ugh.
You showed up to your dad's bday dinner late, dirty, and hungover then proceeded to yell at the bartender for trying to take advantage of you by putting extra bourbon in your drink... Highly doubt you win best daughter award.
I dont know about you but I'm not getting out of bed this summer for anything but food or sex
This is the most boring acid ever. I feel like a child. But thats okay, I've been a child before, its nothing new.
I will kick you in all of your body parts. All at once.
Some guy just ordered at Cosmo and 2 screwdrivers in the sky club at 8:30 am. I'm starting to feel a lot better about my alcoholism
My dad just invited me to smoke a blunt with him. Parent-child bonding at its finest (and highest).
Randomize
