Correction, I've been on a lot of dates and a lot of dicks
Nope it's a specific set of cards not like a normal ace, queen king thing....kinda like UNO, but instead of yelling UNO you get shitfaced
He told me to pretend to be a shark, and he would slay me with his harpoon cock.
arguing about whether his trip to england or my trip on acid was better
I need a second opinion on who's blood is in my car.
Next sat night Titanic party. Bring your floaties, trashy necklaces, and a large lung capacity. This ship is going downnnnnnn.
I accidentally lit my hair on fire and we broke the bed. How was your night?
I will accept it in the form of tooth necklace but if you have better ideas I am open to suggestions.
Would you and/or him be willing to dress up like the phantom, sing me music of the night and then bone the shit out of me? this is important.
The party invite said "this ain't no lame stoplight party, you come to hookup or you don't come" I feel like their honesty deserves out attendance
Not to mention having our pick at the ensuing sausagefest
Dude, he wouldn't have sex with me during halftime cause we were rooting for different teams and that would be "bad juju", I had to settle for 69.
I'll just tell you, some how when we were having sex on Friday my collarbone got fractured.
You ever sit back and realize our friendship is based off us ranting at each other with random animal photos thrown in
Boys winking, cowboys tipping their hats, old people looking disappointed.... ah, I had forgotten the unholy powers of exposed cleavage!
You are my hero.
I don't know what it is about this quarantine, but I have never written this much smutty fanfic in my life and I am loving it!
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