two pink lines on a pregnancy test is bad, isn't it?
only if you didn't want to fuck up your life.
Topless wife handwashing shirt. Tonight marriage is good.
can you put a coffee maker in the dish washer? yo know what, nvm i want to be surprised
Well I put her head right through the headboard. Thank god the room was under her name.
its barely noon and he already threw up and i have second degree burn
Yelling drunk tank or bust at a cop, not a good idea
she demanded that I make her breakfast too so im in the bathroom cooking bacon with her straightener
TAKE ALL THE MAERHMALLOWS AND PUT THEM ALL IN THE MAGICAL NIGHTSTAND
just thought you should know it took me an hour and a half to make soup. I had to keep laying on my kitchen floor. being 21 is hard.
I think I fixed my testicle. That's why I didnt pay $25 for a doctor to do it
You sent me a cat video and you screaming drunkenly in my background
Yeah, last night in the parking lot was hot. I'm sure whoever has the surveillance tapes thinks so too.
I will take a ruler to your dick so help me god
i think the people from taco bell are onto us. they had my order ready today at 3am BEFORE I even got there.
YOU UNCULTURED BADGER
Randomize
