before i could say "i'm not that kind of girl", i was.
She just texted me saying, "I wish you were a better person so I could fuck you without regrets"
why is it that everyone in pennsylvannia gets fucking prego??
Have you ever noticed how boring internet porn is after you cum? I can't shut my computer fast enough.
A lady just asked me if you "seat yourselves" here at qdoba. I told her yea and she has been sitting at a table waiting for someone to take her order for 25 mins.
Turns out puking in your mask makes it even harder to see out of the mask..
Note to self: Do not bring gift bag with cock ring inside to family Christmas. Leave to unwrap at home.
Hey in a lighter note I also nutted in that cheerleader too if she got prego there would have been a team reunion on Maury
best eviction party ever.
it wasn't an eviction party you asshole, you just happened to get yourself evicted during the party.
I'm cooling my balls with a beer because I'm too cheap to turn on the AC
He finger blasted me like an angel dude
Please don't explain what tea bagging is to my mother.
Hahah I’ve never had someone stop me mid-coitus to tell me how amazing I am. Def ego boost.
Dear Andy-the problem is not that I slept with your girlfriend, it's that you didn't know she's a lesbian.
Well hell, he's gotta sleep in the bed he's made. Multiple times. For multiple girls I'm sure.
Randomize
