Oh man I wish you'd been in the car w/ me today. I followed a school bus home filled w/ young boys and I flipped them off the entire way. They loved it.
so i replaced his speed with my ped egg shaveings
dont u have athletes foot?
she was throwing up and singing "I HAD a feeling that tonight was going to be a good good night." And yeah she was still in her dress.
You really need to get over the whole "jail" thing. Its really not that bad.
It was like the devil him self busted his red hot satanic nuts all over my face and burned my eyes out of my innocent sockets.
the cops accepted 42 wallaby way Sydney. and the cops, and cab driver accepted the new address. please tell the win i am experiencing
I mean, on what planet are nipples suppose to look like that?
Yeah yeah, I don't care. I bought a super soaker, so lets please go attracting attention by spraying each other while wearing white tank tops?
you missed 2am bagpipes and my roommate looking hot as fuck in a kilt
Well, I just bought plan b with the tips I made from the job that I slept with my manager. So yeah, that's my life. How's yours?
Smoking a bowl in nothing but a flamingo thong.
But lunch with my dad really just means an hour and a half of him telling me how he's disappointed and how he knows I'm on drugs
As a courtesy going forward if you could not bang in my house that would be nice
Probably shouldn't be looking at memes at my grandmother's funeral
I apologize for there being a shopping cart in the living room. I don't know how why or where i got it.
Randomize
