Youll never guess who has to go to fucking planned parenthood because trojan cant make a fucking condom
had another sex dream about alec baldwin...
Im def. not watching the CMAs. If Kanyes not gonna be there whats the point?
We were so tired we rock paper scissored for who would be on top. I won.
We had sex in the ocean but the tide took our clothes away too. Its no fun walking back to the dorm wearing only a beach blanket between you.
And when we woke up we made beer pancakes. Great start to a family picture day.
he asked you how you felt and you yelled "I FEEL SO PROACTIVE!" and started coloring with sharpies
Side note, we are 25 fighting over our sophmore year RAs Drunk facebook attention
I feel like everything I touch in this bar I'm gonna get hepatitis. my kinda joint
Ryab! Make hr wtop. Mshe make sme speee. I don want to pee. I want sev. He was so igbad. Redpo.
I woke up to the sound of gentle rain, only to realize I was laying under a urine trough in the men's restroom. Fuck you, bourbon. Fuck you.
next photo in the 'cherished memories' series- Jess's bed. Note the vomit actually UNDER the pillows. shes a genius.
I'm gonna make some noodles and go to bed. Hopefully I don't fall into the stove or something.
Most of my life can be described like an HBO prison drama.
look im sitting on my bathroom floor in my underwear snorting cocaine can we talk about this later
Randomize
