I hope mine doesn't look like that
I woke up and my panties were thumbtacked to his wall. Out of my reach.
I just saw Ann slam dunk her puke bag into a trash can on Avenue A. You ladies might want to consider putting the Patron shots down and going home.
If i have to listen to his problems about his girlfriend, he should at least let me suck his cock.
I don't remember you taking the condom off last night. Did you just walk home in it ?
the caf people were giving us weird looks and she yelled ITS A LIFE STYLE
I can now tell my grandchildren Central Park has really great spots for quickies...
Believe it or not I'm actually not the only person sitting in the back of the train covered in glitter and drinking whiskey out of an arizona iced tea can. Small world.
Way to ruin everything
I am drinking jager with a cat, your argument is invalid
Dude, I need a lifestyle change. I'm to old to be making out with chicks in foam parties, letting older chicks get all excited because I let them put their hands up my shirt, and running around doing scavenger hunts with 18 yr old chicks.
I'm driving while wearing hulk hands
Yup he definitely fell asleep. I'm trying to bone an old man
Yeah she's a complete bitch. But I mostly hate her because she hijacked my fuck buddy.
Apparently i disappeared and no one found me until the morning , but i have fifty missed calls
I just got out of a $280 speeding ticket by acting like The Big Lebowski. Seriously Jeff Bridges is the man.
Randomize
