i bought a pregnancy test with dimes. Is that trashy?
so. which one of us is going to pay for the neighbors new window? it cracked when i threw the bottle at it but smashed when you threw yours.
Im going to need an iv of taco bell after this.
I feel like a fucked a broomstick last night. You get a gold star.
Umm, ya, half our class is sitting in starbucks passing around flasks. Yes, flasks. Plural. Going to join them, we're all giving oral presentations in 20. Go hard or go home.
Swear to god our friendship has its limits. Stop peeing on the fucking refrigerator.
She finally pulled over after almost hitting 4 cars and a semi and asked me if i was rwady i told her to let my penis to come back out
Hahaha I don't remember taking it away. But no one should have a sledgehammer at a party. NO ONE.
She's opening her family birthday cards at the bar. So we can pay our tab. Bitches wrote checks :(
somebody went from crying while watching Full House, to a full on emotional raging bull...I love this time of the month
Closed my eyes in the shower and got really dizzy. Not sure if neurological or result of 4 day vodka binge. Send help.
well I've taken an Uber to my weed dealers twice in the past 2 weeks so it's going well since I sold my car
Does this mean I have to put a bra on now
Because you put the dick in ridiculously amazing boyfriend. And you deserve to have nice things happen to your penis. That's why.
Fun fact: deep throating plus dehydration plus eating a lot of citrus = my throat is fucked. Metaphorically and physically.
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