Her problem is just that he inner beauty is just as ugly as her physical beauty
My therapist says she wants to work on my 'trust issues'. I think she's found the cash cow within.
im contemplating emailing my dad and telling him how worthless i am and how sorry i am that he pays for my life...aka my bar tabs.
stop changing my ringtone to people fucking, it looks bad at work
There is a semi-attractive guy at the door who's looking for you. Says he met you on Chatroulette. Start explaining NOW.
You should offer shots at parent teacher conferences..I bet more ppl come
and you stopped teaching...why?
Driving to get a preg test with my ex, wearing my unicorn hat
You are so not ready for motherhood
I think this is the rare instance where the babysitter should get sex as payment from the person being babysat plus you'll get birthday sex. It's a win-win.
She followed me back, then proceeded to find my room, get her panda suit on? And then raid my room and pass out on my couch... what the fack do I do now?!?!
its gotten to the point where if her hand isn't on my butt i think we're in a fight
He dated a girl who could do the damn splits on his dick like how do you compete with that
Mischief managed.
YOU ARE NOT A MARAUDER, WHAT THE FUCK DID YOU DO NOW?
Sorry I didn't call this morning. Ended up with a decorated war veteran last night who besides finding the enemy, KNEW where the fuck my G spot was. He gets a medal in my book!
I have to stop at Sheetz to put my bra back on before I meet you hold on
Unless you want to see me masturbate, I think skype is a no go for now.
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