I just put out an orange level terrorist threat on her punani
Note: footlong is not the password to the subway wi fi network.. p.s- im super high
you googled "nude photos of celebrities you wouldn't expect to have nude photos", puked into the beer bong, and then laughed
I just watched 2 blind guys walk into each other head on in providence. It pays to pregame in your car.
Please fuck him. And then let me tell her. And then let me protect you from the knife she pulls from her Ed Hardy purse. Please.
He dated me before I started drinking. I feel like he deserves a consolation bj for all the effort he had to put in to get in my pants.
i believe i can now do shots of gasoline with no chaser. its been that kind of summer.
Let's just do a victory lap through all of our exes.
Imagine getting a FB inbox "hey I found your ID on the floor of a bar can you send me a mugshot so I can get a second piece of ID made?"
I can't help that I bring out the sex in people
George disappeared two hours ago with a stripper named "delicious." Haven't seen him since
I fit in backpacks. BOOM HERE I AM! Like a stripper from a cake.
I just wanna suck his dick on my balcony ya know
I can’t believe I made out with a flat earther and didn’t know about it until now!
That's why we have robots to masturbate for us
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