One of my friends found 6 bags of gummy bears on the roof. He lives a building over. Apparently even hammered you still have quite an arm
Just realized my talking to the tv hockey voice is same as my sex voice. Life just got a whole lot weirder.
he asked you how you felt and you yelled "I FEEL SO PROACTIVE!" and started coloring with sharpies
He walked into my room in the middle of the night, whispered something about the patriot act, and took my tv.
Just took 4 secret shots in his bathroom to not remember him naked.
As hard as i've been partying lately their gonna have to revoke my organ donor status
Just got offered to exchange moonshine for manscaping services by a gay guy. I'm gonna have the smoothest back in St. Louis county.
Got another job?
If by job you mean clever way of getting free tattoos, then yes. I got another job.
Great. I will show up in your office wearing only oven mitts later today.
jesus, I think that canada gold metal game has completely changed all rules of acceptable drinking habits, I was fucked untill noon and I just got invited to go party when I get off work...at 600am...and NO ONE understood why i was hesitant
You don't know how skeptical I was about letting a guy with braces go down on me
That's pretty intense. There aren't many people I would pick over a burrito
After all this I still can't spell gonorrhoea without autocorrect
She asked what a chaser is. I died a little inside, please come back..
Fucker was flying a Bruins flag. He can pick up the dog's poop himself.
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