I'm walking behind a man wearing a womans shirt, heels, mens pants and a baseball hat
the whole time he was cumming, he did the joey lawrence WHOA. over and over. WHOA. WHOA. WHOA. WHOA.
I fell off the front porch last night. Actually.. I dove. I dove off the front porch.
How is it that lesbians won't hit on me at a gay club, but they'll hit on me every time I go to Walmart?
God you better not be texting me after just having sex with someone from craigslist
It got kind of awkward when her dad brought home a 20 something asian girl at 3am
I'm hoping he'll tell everyone how great in bed I am. Well, how great in bathroom floor I am.
I don't even fuck like that, he just happened to be in the right place at the right drunk.
So I got drunk last night and attempted to shave a landing strip on my vag. I now have a 8 lane highway on my crotch now. Just looks like a random ass square.
went to their party, left halfway through to fuck a pledge, came back to keep drinking. I think everyone won.
Just because you have put things in my vagina does not mean you know me
Dude, tumbleweeds have been rolling through my bed lately. This is my dryest dry spell since I was married.
Well, if I’m not getting dick or sleep then I’m not interested.
Idk but when you think about it the last time I did bottomless mimosas I ended up getting my nipples pierced so it might be fair
Hey! Its not the first time I've been eaten out in a bridesmaids dress in a church by a groomsman!
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