I just saw a hot homeless man
Either he has two lazy eyes or he really likes my tits..
somethin' about having sex in my parents bed makes me feel like l'm finally an adult.
Just talked to the girl you brought home from the bar last night while she was looking for her panties. She said to tell you "nice try".
I wasn't sure if "you're even prettier in the dark" was a compliment. Hmm.
Just saw a woman in a hospital gown with a Steelers jersey on top smoking a cigarette while hooked up to an IV outside of the hospital. I love Pittsburgh.
If I won't even leave the house for sex tonight. I definetly not going out for anything else.
Who was that guy I met at your brother's house who had to get stitches in his ass?
You're a disgrace to the female race and the love triangle and halloween.
WE COULD TOTALLY DO ECSTASY AND GO TO THAT CAT SHELTER OFF OF BROADWAY.
Does being an adult mean drunkenly signing for your tax return from a foreign country? If so, I've reached adulthood.
Why do I like him? He literally has no redeeming qualities.
Look, he's a hot korean guy with a motorcycle and a great ass. I'm gonna do head-titingly kinky shit with him.
how do you feel about japanese?
I would eat half a street meat hotdog I found on the sidewalk, I'm good with anything.
How many Hail Marys does a girl need to say to get some quality nudes?
Randomize
