he took off his pants and apologized in advance if I thought he was too small.
a small fire erupted but we put it out with a can of beer so everything's fine
Just crossed the line from casual pregrame to public intoxication. Shotgunning in a bus shelter.
All I kmoe is rheres a coffee pot full pf vodka in my purse
you picked up the vacuum cleaner at one point and said you we gonna beat the shit out of me with it. that was kinda funny
Apparently he crashed because 3 different girls were trying to give him road head at the same time.
I'm at a nursing home getting weed. Lol when times are tough, things tend to get a lil weird
I faked an orgasm during phone sex last night. This relationship is starting to become real.
You were definitely drunk. You gave him an otphj in front of everyone.
I need to be drunk within 15 minutes of getting home tonight.
In 2014 only three boys have seen my boobs so far
I don't know bro. If a girl makes you cum hard enough that you pull a back muscle, she might be the perfect one to call for a massage on said muscle.
If you're funny as hell and have a mustache, odds are I'm probably gonna fuck you
I guess the wine stains on your shirt and the $2 vodka tonics you're sweating out just scream, "Welcome to DC, please ask me for directions."
It was a blast. I was going to say that throwing up in the airport bathroom wasn't classy, but it's classier than quietly puking into a fast food cup while in your seat during takeoff...
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