So im pretty sure the object of my emotional onterest is tired of playing with me....
I woke up this morning with I hate myself feeling
Im partying with a unicorn. You don't even know.
It was good sex. She was screaming so much I didn't know whether or not my name was Matt or God.
I had a terrible day! The only thing that makes me feel better is knowing Jack Bauers day was worse.
who do i root for if I want Christiano Ronaldo to win the world cup on a team by himself and then bang chicks on the pitch?
Fourth time I had to be woken up in the line of Whataburger in two weeks. First time my shirt was free of vomit.
I've had more sex in the two weeks since we broke up than I ever had in any two weeks we were together.
i wish it would rain vodka just once. i have not puked yet bring it on
Hey when you wake up and read this, we really need to stop pullin our dicks out when we drink dude. I have all the pics, yall are assholes
He never gives up. He's like the fucking little engine that could of hook ups
When you get a chance, you should call Nick. He REEAAAALLLLLY wants to hear you make chewbacca noises.
I feel like he better crank it up to level RG IV tomorrow. It's the fucking playoffs.
I'm just waiting for the avalanche of beef.
We made out in front of everyone INCLUDING his girlfriend. And no one saw. THAT DRUNK!
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