Just got yelled at by a priest...again.
I wish they had nachos that got you drunk
i bought a pregnancy test with dimes. Is that trashy?
I wish I had a "puke in your car" emoticon
WHEN DID YOU SAY YOU COME BACK BC I GOT INVITED TO A KEG WAR PARTY
You kept running up to married couples, taking their pictures and begging for them not to get divorced
You are so predictable. I am willing to bet 20$ that instead of going out you are sitting on your couch, stoned, watching Seinfield re-runs and eating cheezits.
1. they're goldfish. 2 fuck you
YOUR DICK HAS BEEN IN ME I DO NOT WANT TO BE SET UP TO MEET YOUR FRIENDS
I've discovered my ability to crush a man's ego is greater than my hate for beer.
if I blackout nd am found tomorrow w butterfly hairclips on my nipples and my habd down my pants tell my family I am sorry
Now all I have unanswered questions and a fucked up finger
I accepted my type is not "conventionally attractive" when she asked me "Him? Are you sure?" 5 times in front of him last night
Threw up on break at work. That brings our collective tally to 9 times. We can never drink like that on a monday again
Omg I should get on tinder just to get some edibles in town
Like my mom really needs to know just how non existent my sex life is
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