I would have at least made out with you if you were showered.
I can't believe you let me try to pierce your nipple with a dart last night
When I asked if she spit or swallow she replied "I never learned how to spit"
road dome is illegal, just asked in driving school.
I've never seen a grown man cry so much after getting jerked off by a stripper. I say it's the best $600 he ever spent.
hes like my own personal sex toy i use him on the weekends and then i have the option to put him away all week
Then he kept saying sentences and ending them all with "the point of no return" even if it didn't make sense, and kept telling this other guy he wouldn't be his "wife son"
He wants me to hook up with his fiance while he watches. Text you later with how it goes.
he just kept texting even after we lit his shoelaces on fire. he just calmly walked into the pool... still texting.
i need to un-sleep with a few of those brothers before we ever go back to that house again. i'm serious. i will not be a fraternity groupie.
i definitely signed you up to receive text message notifications from a jukebox last night. Not even sorry.
I'm too high and old for this...
I just made my dating life into my own game show. would you like to meet the contestants? (photos not included)
my mom walked in on me eating her out, and i can never kiss my mother again.
A massage should never include spaghetti sauce. shit was fucked up
Randomize
