Somerville?? What the hell are you going to do there?
Watch a movie and have sloppy make outs OBVI. 45 Harris St. in case I die.
im in a kiddie pool, high, with a keg in arms reach. If i had a sandwich and a blowjob this would be the best day ever
It's weekends like this that make it obvious why we have to pay to come to college.
bubblegum was invented today. we're getting drunk. end of story.
Will you come get her? She's trying to get the pizza guy into the bathtub.
You don't have to believe me. My vagina knows it happened.
you have no idea the dirty thing i want to do to your blad spot. please wear my vagina as a hat.
if you are still a virgin by winter break we are throwing an aztec themed sacrifice the virgin party
I feel I should make it clear.....I'm not stalking you, I'm stalking ur dick. You don't even need to talk when you get here. At 4am I think we'd both prefer that anyway.
We ended up debating which Food Network host would do best in porn.
I vaguely remember hanging my bra off the ceiling fan and chugging a beer during sex
College has turned you into quite the multi tasker huh?
I'm chatting on my fake OkCupid account and watching Lion Witch & Wardrobe on my second screen. Hail me, King of the Creepers
I just quit my job so I could get dick this weekend. I'm pretty sure my need for dick is much more important than the customers' needs.
Your vagina doesn't want to be violated with garnishes. I get it.
That same damn squirrel keeps staring at me like I did something wrong. Nature knows when you're hung over.
Randomize
