There's trophy wives that arent even in the 5th grade yet
i just found five singles in my underwear?! im suspicious but delighted none the less
I sent him a picture of my touching myself. He responded back "Your nails look really nice"
Bt dubs, I still have cuts on my arm from when you attacked me with a dildo on Saturday night.
He is like that thing on the menu you would eat because nothing else looks remotely edible.
So what if i ate it off the ground. Its like i found a five dollar bill just laying there, in burrito form.
I just saw a van full of amish parents and their kids. Those cheating mother fuckers!
He should be castrated
Nah he might accidentally come while they're cutting it off. Wouldn't be fair to the surgeons
Also, I might need your help for a prank involving a hand puppet, a coke bottle, double-sided tape, and my dick...
Yaaaayyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyy! It has more than one y so my intentions to sleep with you after the drink special ends are clear
Not as much as my roommate, who is in the middle of one of the pictures throwing a lawn chair at a cop car lol.
Is there like a dick file on me? Guys can't hold two dicks anymore?! Who are you people????
dont ever go to laser tag drunk. you will be judged.
I haven't lost it. I know I'm not a prophet. It was a joke.
After the edible you claimed you were talking to my cat. We're in our 30s now, what was once cute is now a liability.
You asked him if he would have sex with you under the dinosaur. He declined and then you started crying, blaming the sand.
Randomize
