how do I set my phone to only ring when I'm asleep when sex is certain?
I was sitting behind this girl in class and she logged out of her facebook, hacked into her boyfriends, and then proceeded to check his inbox. This is why I'm single.
i don't think it's normal to still be missing spring break.
I don't care if the man pisses on teenage girls, he's enchanting.
I'm either watching Fifth Element or Hotel Rwanda. There's black people and white people and high life tall boy 18 packs are $11.99 so I could be watching my own hand. I have no idea.
She called me her ex's name in a supermarket. How boring am I that she livens up shopping by thinking of another guy?
There's a big bag of salt and vinegar chips and a Budweiser for when you wake up. Don't say I never did anything for you.
We tried to break her futon, I crushed my balls instead. You have one less reason to be jealous that my balls are insanely huge and yours are not.
All you need to know is that isn't jizz
usual friday morning routine. the pants i wore last night are in my passenger seat and im rooting through the pockets trying to make exact change at the dunkin donuts drive thru
One singular head for man, one giant climax for mankind
I'm drunk listening and crying to Selena. How's your Monday?
I was so high last night I honestly think my tears were medicinal
hurry there's a jack Daniels slip n slide and clothes are coming off faster than I can even comprehend oh thank god for autocorrect
Despite evidence suggesting otherwise, it turns out max is 100%straight.
Randomize
