Instead of a promise ring i got my clit peirced, its a promise that ill always give you ass! =]
she thought Martin Luther king was a president at one time. I love knowing I broke up with my ex and this is what he ends up dating.
when i woke up this morning i blew my nose and ash came out.. i'm not sure what to make of this.
maybe it wasnt such a good idea to pregame our lease signing...
I mean I had a leg brace. It would have been irresponsible for me to be on top.
apologized to him about 10 times for being drunk. told him about 15 times that he was "really pretty"
Did you leave a blizzard on my porch last night? Or was that someone else giving out a metaphorical threat to me?
Either I just got hit on by a 10 year old.girl dressed like a boy or I just got hit on by a midget lesbian. Either way I feel uncomfortable
Judge me all you want, but while you are stuck at home eating Ramen and tap water, I will be dining with some guy who, although might be the same age as my father, is filthy rich.
I was wearing the shirt my little sister got for her birthday when the condom broke. I finally have it back to her and told her it was bad luck
He will be forever remembered as "birthday failure" ...Got him to pierce his tongue in my bathroom, but not sleep with me......
Heard you were the one that shit off Jamie's balcony. FYI there is a cabbie down here out for blood
Oh also we fucked while one of the old Rudolph movies was playing on tv so it was festive
This chick walked up to me in the bar and started making out with me, then grabbed my drink while I wasn't looking and walked off.
I drank beer out of a Frisbee and it was all downhill from there...
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