And Anthony pissed on himself at the strip club
After the sixth shot I started to slur my pauses.
I think all I remember saying is, "I love Chris Berman's voice" and then I passed out
Kegstand on crutches, you need to get on my level.
Oh yes. Made out with a grandmother..... she had fake boobs and it was 330am. That makes it okay.
Mardi gras at its finest.
You don't know commitment until you try and waterproof a non-waterproof vibrator
if this uncomfortable exchange we're having is you trying to flirt with me i suggest you stop it before someone gets hurt
I just want every freshman guy to know about Grindr just so I can have more options
I think that all guys are assholes, some of them just have less assholeish qualities that we accept in our lives and that we can look past enough to deal. They have to be a pretty special asshole.
THERE IS WEED IN MY OVEN. HOW AM I EVER SUPPOSED TO MAKE CHICKEN PARMESAN WITH WEED IN MY OVEN.
The dominatrix coworker is currently listening to pop music that has been translated into an Irish dialect and sung by high school kids. Every day gets weirder here.
99% of the contents of my handbag are ketchup packets and condoms. I feel that says a lot about me as a person.
lol show me an arrest record and I'll drop my panties
Haha. I found pics last week of me getting motorboated by a girl while i was taking a shot. Hahaha in my wedding dress. Classy
I come home to my brother mixing skittles and vodka. We're all proud of him.
Randomize
