Is your delayed response due to the massive amount of judging going on?
the 3rd commandment: and god said, if you buy a handle.. you must finish it.
Omg i either met the gayest dude ever or my next boyfriend
headbutted the bartender, tried to bite the bouncer, and pissed on a cops shoes. and i still got laid. god, it's good to be home
ATTENTION ALL CONTESTANTS OF SLUTFEST 2012 ; not only will we be judging on how many penis you have sucked but also girth and length will be calculated. If you are found lying you will be disqualified. Remember your fellow participants will be rendering the same services to probably the same people. So choose wisely and let the games begin!
When you get here, kick me in the balls. It's really important. - I'll explain later.
She left a blanket, pillow, a glass of water, and two advils in the bathroom for me. It's like she knew. Best room mate ever.
Seriously??? You send me boob shots with your husband and kids in them???
Give me a reason to not spend the rest of my evening high watching dogs 101 videos
so an orgy is about to happen in the next room if you wondered where i am currently at in life
I just had a flashback to us shaking up Gatorade mix and then inhaling it in your kitchen because it was funny. Now I can't stop laughing in work because that is the stupidest shit.
My brother is so high right now he's eating frozen peas and called them "fucking delightful"
Is it bad if I look at someone i dont know and just want to punch them in the face?
I'm not fucking any of these fools. But if they want to buy me Olive Garden, that's their business.
No I dont want him to bring his twin brother, cause then ill have to entertain him with my vagina
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