Im watching he's just not that into you, eating way too much pizza, and feeling very single.
My recently uploaded pictures to facebook: Me partying on Beale St. with a single girl on each arm. Ex's recently upload pictures: Several pictures of cats. I win.
He used his penis as a puppet and sang Rihanna's Hard..... so no, we will never see each other again.
definitely just fell out of bed trying to plug in my phone. when did laziness start getting painful?
There's so much relief when you realize you wake up in your own bed
It was only 12:11 and I needed to make a Pepto Latte and call it a night, I don't remember that being part of my new years resolution.
I thought your voice was coming from the walls. I've never been so relieved to find you naked in a closet
5am update: in a toga seeing triple made out with both sexes
He's grinding topless with a group of girls to that discovery channel song. May I take a message?
Just left a strip club where they let me on stage to teach them tricks. Time of my life!
All I want to do is ice my pussy, but then my husband would probably infer that I was not at a business meeting last night.
He sent me a picture of Reese's peanut butter cups next to his dick. Of course I went over.
just put a ruler in a cup trying to measure how much ivve had to drink..... God help me
I just ate broccoli before drinking. Does that make me a responsible adult?
I've seriously never been more thankful for marijuana and my resting bitchface.
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