How bad was it?
You ran around telling everyone that you were going to click them to death on google earth
You took all of my sister's dolls and threw them out the window and then you started talking to her etcha sketch and mr. potato head. I later found you passed out in front of Toy Story and it all made sense.
i just looked at my contacts and realized i saved the pizza hut girl's number as "fckucin pizza" the other night.
She uses my penis to point at the tv when we talk about the shows. I love her
and then he tried plucking my nose hairs. lines were crossed.
the girl walking home behind me started yelling and pointing "i want an ass like hers!" i feel vaguely accomplished.
His hands kept asking for sex, but all I could think was "dude, this is going to ruin my high".
How do I feel about a girl who has a g string tattooed on
Why do I have the 4 of hearts in my bra?
Haha we got sick of drinking on 4 is for whores so we stole the cards...I woke up with three of them in mine
drunken problem solving at its finest
I'm just going to take the mature adult root and ignore him for a bit, and then pretend like I didn't see him jerking off.
IN OTHER NEWS did you guys see Orlando Bloom's penis today? I did
I force fed him french fries and then proceeded to tell him how sexy corgi’s are … it’s safe to say he’s not texting me for a second date.
So, I ran into Garrett last night in the laundry room.
Oh really? First post break-up run in. How'd it go? Awkward?
Um. We had sex on a washing machine.
so then the cop took one last hit off our blunt and then drove off in his car and we just all stood there thinking, yea... that just happened...
Fuck you bitch. You're married. You got a live-in dick at home for your needs. I still gotta surf this shitty town's bars for cock
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