Idk. We dropped acid and Kevin ran away again. We didn't find him for like 3 hours.
Man I wish I had been there
Yah we found him in the pool shed of some elderly couple. They were on the porch watching all of the shenanigans. ...To be young again.
Eric got herpes from Jo-ann
That's what he deserves for hooking up with a french canadian
how ive managed to spend 100$ at an open bar is beyond me.
You were humming mission impossible as we ran from the cops
Questioning the dried heart shaped nutella on my boobs. Valentines day has begun.
Your drinking has interfered with your drinking. I bet you could get a scholarship to a rehab. Thats pro-level
So I found "Fat chicks in saran wrap" in my search history.
That's all you talk about when you are wasted.
He left my apartment when I broke up with him just as my booty call was walking in. It was a little awkward...
Oh boy. Send him a care package with laxative cookies and alcohol. So he can shit himself while he's passed out drunk.
Do you think if I tell the hot Santa at work that I want a sugar daddy for Christmas that he'll get the hint?
They were so big her bra clasped in the front. Didn't even know those existed.
he came to me for relationship advice and we ended up fucking in my backseat
If me saying "come f***k me now" is talking, then yes.
I'm eating cookie dough with a tongue depressor for lunch.
I’M DRUNK AND EXCITED.
Randomize
