dude i was like still drunk, taking pictures of her while she was naked and asleep and she woke up
haha what'd she say
i don't know man, something about us dating. but i never talked to her sober so i said i was making breakfast and snuck out of her house. close calls man WTF
apparently i broke a 100 dollar bill to tip the bartender on a free drink
It snowed today. The whore-inducing weather is official over.
i think i can safely say that is the weirdest thing you've ever propositioned me with. so obviously my answer is yes.
Time to do stuff I know I'll have to hide from my grandkids one day and everyone at next weekends wedding.
U should feel bad.. u r like a sex politician. All talk and no follow thru
Pretend you're in a taco. That always helps me sleep.
What would you say is the recommended tip for a hotel maid who has to clean up vomit on just about every surface of a hotel bathroom?
You only have to pretend to care about soccer until July. HE'S PRETTY DONT RUIN THIS.
someone snapchatted me a porn of two guys dressed up as pterodactyls double teaming a girl
I am going to go back to drinking and listneing to Hanson now. Maybe crying. Or perhaps Full House reruns
lesbians are really intense tho, she made me take her eye makeup off and told me she was going to eat me for breakfast
My room looks so cute. Who wouldn't want to hook up with me in here?
So I was at my annual OBGYN appointment and when she saw the bruises on the inside of my thigh she asked if I had been horse back riding...I think my burst of laughter then awkward silence answered the question for me.
Instead of.being an intelligent and mature adult and dealing with my feelings I chose to get hammered and fuck flounder
Eh it happens
Randomize
