Cumbucket.....OH MY GOD THAT COMES UP AUTOMATICALLY NOW!!
i have no concept of time, i feel my nose, and im seeing everything in bitty hexagons.
Nah nah nah the rules are different on st patty day, drink beer or die. It's like the hunger games but blurrier
I thought you were single?
I am. But thats cuz no one wants to marry shame and regret doused in tequila. But thanks for reminding me ya dick.
Dude when we asked him where he lived all he could tell us was "by the slurpees." That fucked up.
All I remember is passing out with an umbrella over my head and waking up screaming bad luck for seven years
I seem to have forgotten that I am wearing a one piece bathing suit under my clothes
Old woman told me I looked like her son and then she started explaining to me how she wanted me to fuck her
Don't mind me. My boyfriend is carrying me because I'm broken not because I'm drunk.
It's not even 9:30 yet..
We turned a watering can into a margarita bong.
Most drunken moment of the night is me pouring Chanel no. 5 all over your boobs and rubbing it in...
Nice. I like it when Maker's Mark makes decisions for you.
You handed me an unpeeled grapefruit off the frat basement floor and then took a bite out of it.
So I totally had sex In a teepee last night at that wedding reception.
My friend Julia's mom just called her to say she got a puzzle in the mail made of cheese and when she put it together it spelled FUCK YOU and she doesn't know who it's from.
Randomize
