My pee smelled like sake this morning it was sooo disgusting.
well apparently i yelled MY VAGINA WAS ANNIHILATED and his whole family heard
I wasn't excited about it either, but if I was going to have her take a load on her face, role playing as some french dude is the least I could do
Just woke to a Christmas wrapped pack of hotdogs in my bathtub. How high did we get?
he was definitely TRYING to give me herpes.
I think making out with someone could be the cure to all my problems. That or more cowbell.
I'm starting to think my role in the world is to inject batshit crazy, mentally unbalanced chicks with a dose of normal sperm.
It's a good cause. For your vagina.
I'm 99.9% sure the people upstairs are using walki-talkies to talk to each other across the room. Too high for this shit
Sorry, I know you're at the airport but a gram of coke is missing so good luck with security!
We may not see eye-to-eye on much, but I'm definitely willing to let you see eye-to-vagina again.
I want my tombstone to read "making poor life decisions since 1993"
I've got to stop being so hungover that I puke in the fine establishments of this glorious town.
I mean really am I setting up a snapchat when I'm 40 so I can send nudes to my 23 yr old bf? yes, yes I am. Where is my life heading.
Her new crush is a 6'2" guacamole baron that may also be a Jedi.
Randomize