i feel like arbor mist is too classy for that. you need a colt 45
Yeah you're right. The one time when arbor mist is too classy
I was. I was trying to blow bubbles in the toilet after I threw up in it. They had to carry me everywhere. I lost a sock.
all she had left on were here heels. phone five
I can't wait to see you, I've been doing mouth stretches for the past 2 days
When the cops came you just told them you'd go to your time out corner.
You handed some guy a spoon you found, he yelled SPOON GAME, and then the two of you spent the next 20 minutes throwing spoons all over the kitchen.
drunk old tina is grateful for 14 yr old tina for placing glow-in-the-dark stickers on my light switch...just avoided so many injuries
We got three kegs and a backhoe. Now taking bets on what charges we end up getting arrested for. Will need bail money.
i hate going to her parties because i always know everyone there which means everyone knows my ex which means i wont get laid
We were supposed to hurry because the restaurant closed at 9. I ended up giving him a blow job so we had to eat at Arby's instead.
And he's back on taking these stupid testosterone supplements to kickstart him back into working out. And they just make him angry and horny all the time. I'm like great, just in time to meet my whole family for Christmas.
So high that I just walked into class, late, sat down in my desk, and tried to buckle my seatbelt.
I thought this boy told me to choke him, so I went all in. Turns out he really said “stroke.”
my mom is drunk and is trying to get me to take a picture of her ass. what is life?
I just want a man in my bed on a regular basis, who cuddles, and who I can also occasionally hang out with outside of my bedroom. Is that too much to ask for?
Randomize
