like if someone fucked a dictionary but instead of having a penis, it was just one of those leap frog educational toys
I hope to god you are high
And no, shaving doesn't make it look bigger, either
he told me it was a naked video of him so i opened it. i just got rickrolled while sexting
well since you're still married, you will be paying for my abortion right?
When it gets to the point that I'm more comfortable being naked at his house than my own, it's time to readdress the fuckbuddyship.
50 year old business women like dick too. Come on she said you looked like Ricky Martin.
You're doing that 'overestimating how much I care' thing again.
Just left a strip club where they let me on stage to teach them tricks. Time of my life!
I am thinking about buying a decorative chest for all our sex stuff....
There is nothing wrong with watching parks and rec all day then getting blackout drunk by night
Are there edibles for sale in the Denver airport because if so bring those to my mouth
Besides, I'm booked tomorrow. I'm planning on drinking heavily and crying in the bath.
My mom found your leather pants in our guest room. She doesn't want to know why they are there, she just wants to know if you want them washed.
We walked 3 miles to the strip club. Stopped for roadies, it wasn't that bad.
Masturbated while waiting for my face mask to dry, so it was a productive night.
Randomize
