i can't put facebook on my resume under hobbies.
why is it that everyone in pennsylvannia gets fucking prego??
Pretending to care to care about playoffs in exchange for free shots. I'm sorry in advance.
It went from "haha, this will be funny" to "full blown anime porn fetish"
When I told her that her boyfriend was making out with another chick, all she said was "which one"
Do you think I can wear the dress I went to jail in with the shoes I went to prom in to the wedding tonight?
I am literally sitting on the toilet in utter disbelieve that last night even happened. My god that was only Monday.
Duuuude - Drag Queen Bingo wasn't supposed to end like thissss
So it turns out that my mom and her dad used to hook up when they were our age
Never been so glad that I look so much like my dad that there's no question as to my paternity
If you got tons of KY ads on HuluPlus, it's because I hit "relevant" every time.
We fucked like animals and then decided we actually liked each other so then we made love. It's a match made in heaven.
We were totally high while having sex, I told him fast or slow, just follow your balls. That was a show stopper.
We played wedding bingo. I made out with the maid of honor and fucked one of the bride’s sorority sisters. But I needed to get with the groom’s cousin, a mother-in-law to be, or the wedding planner to win and I came up short.
we used a blowdryer last night to warm up our left over pizza..it worked perfectly at first..but then the chili powder got into his eyes..
Never going back to jail again. Only time in my life I've ever had a wet dream about jerking it...
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