The best thing happened. Some guy was butchering Conway Twitty at karoke and the power went off in the whole bar. And someone shouted "you pissed jesus off when you messed with conway!"
I was in a gas station that sold tazers and I just saw a billboard that said "Strippers, need we say more?" God I love Georgia!
you were so drunk you tried to use the microwave as a calculator for your BAC
She actually asked me 'is it in yet?' I deleted the vid.
I just met the 30 percent of the population with an STD
From what I remember, he had one ball. But it was cute
I woke up with my bra stapled to the ceiling, her dad was in the hallway winking at me. I was the less drunk of the bunch.
I hope it's socially acceptable to wear a mesh one piece into last call tonight?
You should photoshop their heads on tigers first!!
For my parents' annivery card? How high are you?
at work, .. 47 yr old boss was in a fight. 2 BLACK EYES. I may get fired. I cant stop laughing
I just woke and boke and made apple pancakes. I'm kicking Monday in the dick.
Being sober is no fun. Karaoke and not wearing pants are not socially acceptable things to do anymore and this depresses me.
On a brighter more disgusting note...... I think I just shart myself but I'm too afraid to find out.
The internet was right. Snorting muscle relaxers is awful
The logic in me says "don't text him" .But the vagina in me says "text him".
Randomize
