this girl literally referred to her butthole as her "back pussy"
Those 2 guys from the sonic commercial will be virgins for life.
You had me at "you have a nicer rack then her"
He left his umbrella behind in my bed to 'keep me company', then stole my front door key before he went to work
Oh well shit happens. This is my not worried face. This is also my still decently drunk face.
Bathrooms are cool, I think Im just gonna hang out here for a bit.
Her grandmother had a handicap stair lift. I just put her drunk ass on it and let her ride it up. Thank God for broken hips.
I'm sweating so much right now i look like Whitney Houston
I have already decided that it happened in an alternate universe since both of the people involved don't remember it and we only have the word of a sober person that it happened at all
Crazy how fast a room full of drunk teenagers sober up when someone breaks his parents' new flat screen
we somehow managed to fit a llama, a stripper pole and a hayride all into the same day.
just used my amazon order history to figure out my anniversary. I am the most epic/shittiest bf ever...
I know I come to this conclusion on a fairly regular basis but I really do need a babysitter
Well. Now I feel like I put pants on for nothing.
You know it's time to call it a night when every guy in the bar (all 3 of them) have seen you naked at one time or another.
Randomize
