maybe tonight we can turn coloring into a drinking game
Ketchup is God's man juice
they started a semi-successful rumor that toby keith died. who says fraternities don't have goals
He told me about his girlfriends trust issues during our post sex spooning
in respone to your voicemail you left me on saturday, yes i had gone to bed and no i was not still drinking at 5am
I won't be able to make it. Too hung over. Can't hold down fluids. I'm in the bathtub trying to hydrate my body through osmosis. And yes, Tequila Tuesday is totally still on for tonight.
I found his Linkedin the day after he created it. Too stalkerish or just right?
Blah blah blah. Just come home and put a baby in me.
I successfully convinced a drunk NDSU student that their school does not have a football team and another that they weren't in Fargo. I'm a dangerous sober shark in a sea of drunks.
I'm buying groceries with adderoll. I hope I'm never this broke again.
I got so many dick pics last night. It was like a slideshow from heaven.
Why do I have a separate credit card just for booze? Because I saved enough points so Saturday we are flying to Denver to smoke legal weed and fly back in the same day.
So the remote for the camera in the photo booth must have gotten dropped on the floor. while you were in there. having a threesome. on the floor of the room where my parents stay when they visit me. so thanks.
Every time I download Tinder again, I hate myself a little more.
sober me thinks like you do. drunk me needs sober me's advice. am i allowed to go to his house?
Randomize
