Houston.. we have a drinking problem..
How was Slumdog? Did it pull your heartstrings?
It was entertaining. Better than most other Mexican films.
Took an aderol, wrote a differential equation for solving volume of flow of a rectangular channel with change in depth, then masturbated for the 6th time.
You broke out your mechano set and told us you were gonna "build us a beer machine" and 5 min later you were fast asleep
The google font looked peculiar last night, but then up close I realized it was just dry vomit.
I feel like banging her is an expected thing. But banging you would be like getting a 36 on the ACT.
just to let ya know we might have to take a stripper snowboardin sometime
You threw a bunch of trashcans into the middle of the street and nothing happened. I fell on one car and suddenly there were cops everywhere...
He just pulled out my weave during sex....needless to say I'm embarrassed and in need of another shot pronto
Dude that chick had a dog in her car. Like when she goes bar hoping so does roofus. He gaurds the car.
I went up by the border of Canada. We took shrooms and went fishing...pretty sure we killed a dragon and ate it for dinner
IN THE MIDDLE OF HOOKING UP, HE IS CALLED AWAY ON AN "EMERGENCY". FUCK THAT, MATT'S CAR IS NOT AS URGENT AS MY THIRST.
I faked more orgasms with him then ever should be allowed for someone this pretty.
NO I WILL NOT SET YOU UP WITH MY TWIN WHAT THE HELL IS WRONG WITH YOU?!? JUST BECAUSE I WONT BLOW YOU DOESNT MEAN YOU CAN STALK HER AS A BACKUP PLAN YOU SPANISH BASTARD
This guy wants me to put ice under his foreskin. What!?
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