New drinking game: drink every time the guy whose room we are in is creepy
enjoy the hospital
All I seem to do lately is get myself off, take naked pictures and drink beer. I don't know if thats a good or bad thing.
You said you wanted to go to louisiana and get arrested by Steven segal
I think the secretary can hear it when I fart in the bathroom, how do you think she feels about that?
Just opened a bottle with my rape whistle. At least it's finally getting used for something.
Just had a thought: were the sirens on when we were in the ambulance?
and then he tried plucking my nose hairs. lines were crossed.
I could seriously attempt to try and saw my head in half with a butter knife cause im pretty sure it could not hurt any more than it already does
Also, ran into my neighbor across the street. He told me about scheduling his vasectomy. We are officially way beyond the acceptable point for asking his name again.
So we came to a decision, you need to fuck your hot roommate and send us pictures. We voted, so don't hate the democracy this great country stands for
Thank you <3 he just looked at me, fist bumped me, and asked me what was on my titty....we may cut her off
Well I mean he still had sex with me after I told him that I play fetch with the kids I take care of, so I'm not really looking too far ahead with him...
He said it only counts if it ends up on the internet
Just got back from a Walmart run. The music went straight from Kid Rock to John Phillip Souza. If that doesn't scream 'MURICA I don't know what will. Happy 4th!
you know you should be lucky to find the case to my dildo....that means no more random guys at the house!
Randomize
