your butthole totally puckers for the ginge
Are we in a gay sports bar?
remind me tomorrow that nothing happen between me and the guy who's shirt i'm wearing
she likes to give head while listening to britney spears, getting blown by a girl with headphones on is a nice level of separation
Slut skills are useful in every country.
Sunday is a myth, I refuse to believe that I waste an entire day unable to function after a night of drinking.
He's a forty-something balding gay man with no boundaries or sense of social norms. Of course we should befriend him.
I know everybody has skeletons in their closet but why are all of mine so slutty?
All I know is that I woke up in a soccer players' dorm, and he said that I kept telling him my mouth was a "net for his balls" last night at the bar..
DID YOU DO SOMETHING WITH THE DEAD ROACH IN THE KITCHEN? OR DID IT LAZARUS?
I gave him morning sex, a bag of cookies, and dropped him off at work. I believe I deserve the "best hookup award."
Drank your wedding present. Sorry
it's like i'm your dad, but instead of reminding you to bring your lunch to school i remind you to take a good long hit from your bong.
Do you just want me to shit in a Jack-o-latern
When have you ever know me to go too far?
Besides the alcoholism, the HR issues, and getting fired from Best Buy for tackling a display?
Yeah. Besides those.
Randomize