My mom came into my room and told me to flip off the tv. I gave it the middle finger. Note to self: STOP SMOKING THIS SHIT
kerrys trying to convince everyone in the bar shes a lesbian. cheers to not being the drunkest girl in the room. i probably wont piss myself tonight.
At Wal-Mart last night I watched two guys scramble for $4.34 to pay for a pack of ping pong balls and red solo cups. They had to put the .34 on a credit card. Winter break begins!
I can't believe all I ate yesterday was half a turkey sandwich and 20 finger licks of exctasy.
everyone knows he gets back in a week and after that i'm not sleeping around anymore. it's like i have a expiration date.
Nothing quite says America like barbecue and beer at 9 in the morning.
I'm in the "I'd rather have Carbs than Dick phase" part of my Life right now. YOU tell me how much Skinny Sex I'm having.
How bad is it if you swallow a really small piece of glass? Be optimistic if possible I'm anxious about it.
He leaned over in the middle of the movie and said "My dick's name is Juan". WHO DOES THAT?
You straddled the banister and fell down the stairs, then proceeded to crawl back up them, I think you need to lay down
Stand up sex. Extremely, extremely difficult. I now know how pointe dancers feel.
Just found weed in my belly button. Happy Saturday!
Please warn me if you ever end up in porn, cause I don't want to stumble across that on accident, okay?
I assume some self respect is too lofty of a gift idea
We used to bone, but now she's my life coach.
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