I'm gonna write a book, Things that go bump in the night: The story of Katelyn. Chapter one, my roommate is a dumb whore.
I just need someone to hold me and tell me i dont turn boys gay
i found a beer bottle on top of the urinal, peed in it and put it back... if anyone gets drunk enough to fall for it they deserve it
We discussed our relationship status. We're dating exclusively. And the conversation was followed by him saying "C'mon baby, let's make you orgasm!" .....I'm gonna marry him.
she's telling me all about the love triangles of her sims. you tell me how it's going.
That's ok. Our relationship has a solid foundation of booze and questionable behavior.
Its not even 10am and we are talking about what guys assholes we would finger.
I'm wearing red that night.
Noted, what shade?
Whore.
On a scale of 1 to "bad descision", where does stealing my racist neighbors dog and giving him my roomates dildo for a chew toy rate?
Well, I have a text in my phone that just says "Scrumtrelescent" from a girl I have in here as "Cheesy Tits", so you figure out how my night was going.
I am slightly proud of the fact his mom turns on the dryer located behind the spare bedroom EVERY time we visit!
There is a car windscreen wiper in my handbag... Not my car's, not ok.
He wants me to tell you "my boner misses you"
He showed me a picture of his family on Instagram and his dad was my Sugar Daddy. ABORT.
Based on the conversation I'm going to assume you didn't close the deal.
It started going awry when I fell through a roof.
Randomize
