i hope kanye doesn't show up to patrick swayze's funeral. " i'll let you get back to your funeral in a minute...but michael jackson had the best death of the year. just sayinnn ".
So all semester this guy and girl have been talking, and today is the last class and we are doing nothing. I would have skipped but I want to see if he seals the deal or pusses out. It's like a season finale.
We had phone sex and he came in his sink. i will never eat off one of his plates again
I would let Bear Grills repel down a waterfall using my dick if I could go to sleep right now.
He's sitting in his room on Facebook with nothing but a pillow covering his crotch. I can't help you at the moment.
Does Jim keep sending you pics of him in drag too???? If so, are you also slightly uncomfortable?
And, through a series of unfortunate events, I am at my grandmothers birthday party in a short dress and no underwear
He literally cocked blocked all the dudes that tried to talk to the girls he was with, and they all loved him.
Same guy who tossed the brunet over his shoulder as they left screaming "Bring me my lucky shovel!"
apparently when a guy says "if there's anything missing in your life, I will provide" he's not expecting attractive lesbians to be the answer.
He didn't call me beautiful but he came in less than five minutes so same thing, right?
moral of my life: don't tell a guy you want to have sex with him. he'll get back together with his ex.
You just managed to turn Dr. Seuss into a sext. I really like you now.
My little sister just helped me edit my nudes so that's how my night is going
I just want to buy drugs without having to pay an arm and a leg for it. Is that a horrible thing to ask for?
I mean, it's not like you can exactly complain to the manager and higher ups about it.
Last night I tried to apply for a job at ihop. That drunk.
Randomize
