you go from almost hooking up with the hottest guy at the party, to going home with your ex....how is that even mathematically possible
The fact that its 10am on a gameday and I have yet to shotgun is absurd
I took my pants off in the cab and tried to bite his ear. Not going oout for awhile
I found a digiorno pizza in my washing machine.
He's like my sex unicorn. Elusive and majestic. I'll catch him, I'm baiting with patron.
You told me you loved me after I brushed your teeth with my index finger.
Okay, just a casual question: how did i manage to get grass stains on the inside of my bra?
she said she walked into the kitchen and i was sitting ass naked on the floor chugging her parents vodka.
I vote for a trading skills night. You teach me to juggle, I'll teach you knife fighting, and we'll both learn banjo
It's not ok to announce to a group of people playing beer pong that a girl put her finger in your butt last night. I now know this
LOVE ME MORE THAN PIZZA CAN
I accused him of not drinking enough alcohol and eating tacos after midnight. I was sober and he's not a gremlin. I would say bad.
Crust to egg proportion prescribes to a pedantic form of quiche. It's like saying breakfast pizza isn't pizza at all.
Everytime I give him head I make him rub my back. Teamwork at it's finest.
Ahhh, beer. My second favorite breakfast drink.
Randomize
