She was sleeping without a shirt so I thought I wouldI sneaked a peek at her nipples..than I realized they were just warts...on her back.
Sooo sorry about that. And crying. And comparing my life to a duck
Just found a picture of me licking the bouncers ear last night
I dunno if we should get high tonight man. its daylight savings. time travel is just too much for me right now.
This is a mass text. Surprise drug testing at work today. Either I've finally got to fuck my boss or I've got to quit to make this all go away. Please respond with option a or b.
I need to do something profound in the next three and a half years so that when my kids ask what I did in my twenties I have something to say other than "made bad decisions"
Then he claimed me as his prize for 3rd place in a wing eating contest. Too romantic.
Everyone was passed out so I turned off the lights and locked all the doors. I also took the chicken sandwich in the microwave as payment.
His penis smells like laundry I just wanted to cuddle it
Would it be weird to jack off in the hospital?
You just kept screaming "COME GET ME OFFICER, MY ALLIGATOR MEANS BUSINESS" while swinging a beanie baby alligator at him.
This is the beginning of the end. Testicle Tuesdays and free ball Friday are going to scar people for life
Dude that picute of your balls will haunt my nightmares
You're an independent woman who is defined by her own actions and not by whether or not you have a man. You also have great tits.
Terrible idea I love it
We banged in his car behind the burrito place. Google Maps keeps asking me to rate my visit. 5/5, would cum again.
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