TYLER... glimpse of last night: leather chaps, guacamole dip, a jump rope, spray paint, and rhinestone studded pajamas.
i think you have the wrong number... but your story sounds delightful.
I could write a book called "things that come out of my vagina"
He started yelling "fuck the environment" then puked all over the baby trees
I had to drink heavily last night because I needed to forget that you told me you want to blow my dad.
Why does it always end up with me crying in my car.
I caught him with his head in the spinach bag this morning. He was laughing demonically saying, "i love spinach, yes I do."
My only regret is that we didn't pee on our neighbors Prius
These bathrooms are miraculous. I'd love to have sex in here. Wow. I've peed 5 times.
I just made a cocktail. Had one shot of vodka left. It looked lonely so I decided to reunite it with its vodka friends in my bloodstream.
Starting the day at 1:44 in the afternoon. With a hot pocket and a mixer. Who knew my life had this kind of possibility.
Ran into him again last night, stole his glowstick and walked away. The glowstick mountain in my room keeps growing.
I was told to keep my leg elevated. I assume it means to keep my legs on the air, it's like I was prescribed to be slutty
My roommate walked in naked grabbed my hand and pulled me into her room to see her randoms dick.
Apparently I pulled that girl's number while I was trying to insist my drivers license had enough money on it to cover the tab.
I mayyyyy have moaned a name that wasn't his
I'd rather have snapchat than feelings.
Randomize
