Dude, she had a vegina. I felt like Indiana Jones cutting a path through the jungle.
At chipotle, there's a bachelorette party starting out the night here, i'm going to let you imagine what the bride to be looks like
So the weirdest part of it all was he whispered in my ear "can i eat you out on your tredmill?" I dont find him attractive at all anymore
The kid taped his penis down so that he wouldn't get a boner while dancing with girls. Oh these middle school man whores never cease to amaze me.
and on the fourth day, god made foam parties.
Definitely just blazed with the housekeeper. That woman needs a raise
Its ok. I handled the situation with grace and class. lol jk i got shitfaced and fucked his roomate.
How did our waiter from olive garden end up passed out drunk in my roommate's bed?
holy shit thats the most artistic dick pic ever
I'm going to be drunk and braless all weekend. Let the festivities begin!
So last night took an interesting turn.. Never thought I'd say I had to pick up my glasses off the floor of a strip club
We got a noise complaint for vacuuming too much but not for getting really high and yelling about peanut butter
It was crazy man, at one point after already going 3 rounds I tried to breakaway for a smoke...she yanked me by the nipple hair back on top of her.
I can't. I'm going camping this weekend. I do have a life outside of your dick.
So... my daughter's new girlfriend Is the daughter of the girl I dated on and off in college Who ran away because she got pregnant at my house party. My Legitimate daughter Is probably fucking my Illegitimate daughter...
Randomize
