Dude, this chick just tossed my salad hard. All that I could picture was a dog trying to get the last of the peanut butter out of the jar of Jiff and trying not to think of how grotesque my last dump was.
Then she tried to kiss me and I wouldn't and she got pissed off and went to sleep. Then about an hour later, her kid called her. She went home and on the way out I told her to wash her mouth before she kissed her kid good night. Weird night..
Ps what kind of horrible ppl are we that we both checked blackberries during sex and neither minded?
there is no way he can be that small
look on the bright side he'll over comepensate
Hiding in the clothes rack at walmart like a 4 year old. Already scared 3 people. New fav weekend activity
You came back with four clearly unattractive women and wanted to throw a dance party in my room.
was it you or me who tried to make the, what appears to be, nacho cake in the oven?
Nobody knew what to do when it was dead. You said fire up the George Foreman, I've never ate baby shark. She hasn't stopped crying.
I think I will be cutting those pills in half...Jesus just tried to sell me a toothbrush.
Just cause I'm shitfaced wasted every night waking up in random beds all over Manhattan does not mean I'm a mess.
Truth. Respect the hustle.
For the record we tried to find 4th of july porn. Did not turn out well.
It isn't possible and the very mindfuck of that concept gives me a lady boner.
We did a lot of coke and Bedazzled the couch. It seemed like a good idea at the time.
Sorry, fell into some ass. Call you tomorrow.
You were a cyclone of alcohol and bad decisions - like a gay Tazmanian devil
Upon further investigation my nipples are bruised and I have teeth marks all over.
Randomize
