No it only became awkward when she walked in with her new boyfriend and we realized we'd all banged her
you were convinced campus grass and foliage would give you your daily serving of vegetables to balance out the amount of alcohol you drank.
and then she said I drew a line on her forehead with my cum and whispered "Simba"
can you buy anything in the cafeteria for less than $2? I spent the last of my laundry money on a chia pet
so this chick screams out the name doug is bed..not to later do i find out doug is her vibrator
hello competition
dude all my bootycalls are going to Eclipse tonight... Do I really want it that bad?
Woke up with pink eye in both my eyes. That's how the threesome went
he ate me out on his front porch at dawn. i orgasmed when the sun began to rise. most romantic morning booty call ever.
This girl just texted me asking me to drop her cheese. What the fuck for that mean?
Just pulled a Kenny Powers on a snowmobile
Did you know they have a bouncer at Applebee's because I did not
At least they play good movies in the waiting room of the pregnancy resource center.
Sitting in my junior high parking lot high on ambien talking to a stranger I met on tinder. What is life?
I love you.
Bad choice
I should have known when she mixed malibu and V8. It smelled just like tanning oil and when she drank it she said "Oh well, not the first time."
Randomize
