Farted during a conference call.SBD. permeated the room people were gonna puke.noone could say anything or leave cus we were on the phone with clients. coworkers were outraged.how I still have a job is beyond me.
So can we just skip dinner and I'll just pay you for a blowjob?
Don't tempt me, I need beer money.
i dedicated my morning wood to you.
I just watched a girl use a tall boy Coors as a rolling pin to make christmas cookies
there is a time and a place for ass-grabbing and that was not it.
I am literally missing a chunk of eyelashes. That's how fun it was.
Well who could blame her. I would run away from me if I could.
I've discovered the best way to avoid rehab is to not fuck fat chicks when your drunk, therefore delaying regrets and rock bottom
your the Dr. Phil in my life
Today is an unchanging day
according to the video, you won you first drunken karaoke contest based off of your actual singing abilities and not because you took your shirt! I've never been prouder :)
I think I died last night.
Yeah, you got carried home
I spent the day drinking wine and meditating. I'm zen as fuck.
I was angry that a college kid had a new Audi
so I peed on it
Well, if worst comes to worst, I have pictures of his penis that I can put on the internet
Well I typed "penicillin a" into the search engine and before I could finish "penicillin and drinking" popped up. Google knows me too well.
Thanks for being my best friend so I can use you as an alibi to my family while I'm out getting some dick in my face.
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