You really coming over, don't trick.
I'd rather watch my mom take a shit while reading the sunday new york times than watch mama mia .
Dork........ .......... .. . ...... ........... .. . ... ...... .. . .... ..... .. .... ... .......... .... . . ..... Yeah its morse code, no big deal
my brother is a facebook fan of two things: God, and Rhianna. if he's not a prime example of the rare "baptist closeted gay," i don't know who is.
Apparently I kept telling people I was a pro tennis player again...
2nd night home for break and we had to call the fire department to keep the house from burning down. At this rate I'll be lucky to see you next semester.
he put $150 on the cabs dash so 9 of us could pile in and ride 3 blocks to the apartment.
Dude, it's the frankincense and myrrh soap. Smelling like baby Jesus will get you laid.
There are several different types of life sentences in my purse right now.
I took the weekend off because he and I were supposed to go to Vegas for our anniversary and get a hooker remember?
Ah, yes. Who says romance is dead?
I was drunk and on Craigslist.. The drunk-text offers people got must have been either horrifying or glorious
He left a full handprint on my ass. He called it a "five-star review."
Let's just wait to see what happens before we start making radical plans and starting fires
I HAVE A STRAIGHT LINE ACROSS MY ASS ABOUT THE WIDTH OF A SLIM JIM. ERICA!
I'm laying backwards. On the stairs. Eating carrots. And drinking from a captain Morgan bottle.
Randomize
