just a forewarning-if you come home and hang out with your stupid girlfriend the entire time that you are here/fail to get wasted with us i will wish either death upon you or that you truly do turn gay when you return to the navy.
This may sound mean but have u ever just sat in class and look at some of the the people and think how disappointed their parents must be
I just got home. Seriously all I remember is taking out my contacts and putting your balls in my mouth.
I shouldn't trust a guy I just met with the pull out method. That's a big responsibility.
I don't know at which point last night turned terribly, terribly wrong, but it was somewhere around Motel 6, specifically the parking lot.
You made me pull over because you thought a leaf was a twenty rolling across the road.
How many tongue depressors should I need to steal from urgent care to make samurai armor?
My boyfriend just asked what time I was coming over. As soon as my old BF unchains me. I think he ran away.
So after I fell off 4 times we concluded I'm not allowed to ride him anymore.
I just spent 12 consecutive hours in the same outfit and none of it was pajamas. If that's not personal growth, I don't know what is.
This is the beginning of the end. Testicle Tuesdays and free ball Friday are going to scar people for life
Dude that picute of your balls will haunt my nightmares
So here's a tip: don't give a blowjob the same morning you're going to the dentist. Cuz they will think you have "mouth trauma."
If Plan B had a rewards card I would have earned so many free tote bags by now
i just called dibs on the taxi driver at the bar that isnt drinking. im a grown up
His butt is perfect. Like a twelve on a scale of one to ten. No idea about his personality or anything but that ass... I'm keeping him.
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