So you really shouldn't go around telling people you're fireproof
Sarah Palin just got hired for Fox News. Watch out Jersey Shore... there's a new drinking game in town
Dude, we totally smoked up inside a church organ last night. Add this to the epic list.
like in an apt above a crackhead. A LEGIT CRACKHEAD. he woke me up every morning this week asking me if I wanted to buy a mini fridge and some CDs. at 5 am. EVERY DAY.
She saved the condom from the first time we did it.
DID YOU JUST COME OUT THROUGH A FACEBOOK COMMENT??
WTF YOU SHOULDNT BREAK A SWEAT TAKING A SHIT. MY BODY HATES ME.
I'll get you through man, I'll be your fairy godmother with better prescription drugs
If you've never been pounded by an Eastern European body builder, I would highly recommend it.
He's passed out. He nodded his head when I asked if he's alive though...so there's that
I just walked through the door and she ran up to me, hugged me, unzipped my pants and immediately started sucking my dick. Good day.
He offered me free drinks all night if I could beat him in a drinking race. I blacked out after that but just found his credit card in my bra so there's that.
We only initially bonded over boobs and sarcasm
dad says come back and get the lawn mower out of the pool before mom gets home
He smells like sex and magic. I’m already naming our children
Maybe you should talk to him first
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