Will you still be my friend if I read and enjoyed Twilight?
No
Threw up 3 times on the lawn mower and then proceeded to crash it into a tree root and break it.
I honestly don't know what my boundaries are, but shitting on me is crossing them.
I can't break up with him, I ran the math. Taking into account his 7 inch penis and the standard deviation from average, almost 90% of guys should have a smaller penis than he does.
Really? Penis math? This is why guys shouldn't date female engineers.
Never visiting again. You guys drink like immortals
Something about getting whistled at in my work clothes while crossing the street with three Nuvarings in my back pocket feels wrong.
They want yo temporarily sterile ass.
ok it turns out chain mail does not protect against falling down a flight of stairs. please send help.
Okay, I just got to our real hotel and the YMCA may have been a better choice. A man w/ no shirt on
State dependent memory. I just needed to feel my teeth. It was like a fog was lifted.
Package arrived for me from the gf while she's on vacation..under the bed bondage kit and new lingerie...my boner could drive to the airport
...I think I just watched a boy make a sandwich seductively. What.
Text me later if you aren't dead and wanna have a drink later
Remind me to talk to you about nipple clamps.
Please don't fuck the professor. We both know that won't end well.
We hotboxed his bathroom. going to be a good night
Hotbox went wrong - smoke sets off fire alarm. Firefighters coming
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